Obviously not with an imperforate one, since you do have menstrual flow. Taking time over a couple of days -- especially when my sense is you two haven't taken months of having other kinds of sex, including things like fingers in your vagina -- might have made you emotionally more comfortable, but physically, that isn't really going to do anything. So, just as an educational piece, when you say "had" a hymen, know that your hymen corona is likely still there, wearing away very gradually over a lifetime, as it does for people and starts doing once puberty begins. Consensual sex and the experience of pleasure and intimacy in our lives -- be that sexual or from other things -- isn't something anyone should feel ashamed of, even though, sadly, a lot of people are taught and enabled to feel that way. So, moving forward, be sure and take more time with other kinds of sex you know you like and get excited by. Otherwise, unless you are having your period, bleeding during or shortly after sex is considered something to see your healthcare provider about. I'd suggest you toss anything that GYN said to you out, because we know from the way she was talking to you and treating you that she's simply not credible.
It might be doing self-care before sex you know helps you manage anxiety.
Is it normal for a virgin girl to bleed a lot after sex?
Learning to relax our muscles -- including of and around the vagina -- is something that can take more than a couple of days. Second, I am so glad that you asked!! I find talking about things that seem embarrassing can take away a lot of their power real or imagined. Ill always be a little anxious just because I don't want my parents to find out and be disappointed, but overall, I'm very happy about my first time. Trust me, the first time is never as perfect, romantic or long-lasting as it seems on TV or in the movies, and I get why you're concerned about that next time. So, just as an educational piece, when you say "had" a hymen, know that your hymen corona is likely still there, wearing away very gradually over a lifetime, as it does for people and starts doing once puberty begins.